The Devil Tree and the Chair

Ok. So there has been some mention of the Devil Tree, but if you missed it, the Devil Tree once stood just downstream from the Haunted House (first mention - I’ll write about the Haunted House sometime in the future) and this dead, pretty large tree, was absolutely covered in ivy. The tree had a face, a hood, a robe - all of it ivy. From each side of the otherwise singular tree, there were two scraggly branch-arms that rose above the tree’s head. It actually looked a lot like the Abominable Snowmonster, but it also looked like a demon - thus, its name.

Having broken about half of the way up a few months ago, the Devil Tree took some high water down the river and it now blocks what was previously the smoothest route down the rocky bit at the end. 

The Devil Tree will appear again later. But, now the chair. 

Part 1

More than a year ago I was going down the river and I saw a chair up on the bank a little bit. This was just after a pretty heavy rain and the water picked up and then dropped off this chair. This same water event took a couple of our chairs, too. 

The chair on the bank was the same color and make of a chair we were missing. And I’m thinking, “There’s our chair!” I get out of the boat and tell myself that I’m grabbing it. I figure I’ll just put it on top of the boat and drag it back the last ¾ mile or so. 

I was up the bank a bit and I hear a voice, “Hey, man, what are doing with my chair?” I say, “Yo, wait a minute, this is MY chair.” And he goes, “That’s my chair.” (seriously!). I stop for a second, think things through and am, like, oh, yeah, this is probably one of those blue chairs I always see up there by the AirBnBs.  It was clearly his chair. So I just left the chair where it was and he got it. 

As I was over-explaining why I thought it was our chair, we both noticed a blue thing down the river and it looked like ANOTHER chair. Went together to check it out; he walked along the bank while I paddled.  We talked and everything was cool. Except the blue thing turned out to be a tarp, not his chair. 

Part 2

About a month ago, I was passing the AirBnBs and there were two blue chairs in the water that were taken by some heavy winds and high water. No mistake, those were HIS chairs.

One was down the bank in the shallows and that one was going to be a bear to get, so I just left it. The other was downstream a bit and stuck on a fallen tree in the water. I grabbed it and threw it a bit further towards the bank so somebody could come down and get it. I didn’t feel like getting out of my boat on some tree snag thing and dealing with the chair. I’d probably slip and fall or something. I threw it up a bit from the boat and that was fine. 

Part 3

After another heavy rain and high river levels two weeks ago, I paddled by the AirBnBs and one of the chairs was missing. The chair I threw towards the bank was still tangled in a tree, but the other chair was gone. 

But not like gone, gone. 

There it was, down by the rapids (really just rocks), stuck on the Devil Tree. 

So, the blue chair is on the Devil Tree, having tumbled down the river three-fourths of a mile downstream.

I’m going to get that chair.

I’ll wait a bit until the water warms a bit, since I’ll undoubtedly get wet during the retrieval process. I’ll also give up the chair to its rightful owner if he comes calling, but until then, the Devil Chair has a good spot waiting for it.

The Devil Tree and Its Chair

Get out here!

Feeling really grateful for a lot of things, but since this is about the river, I’ll stay in that lane. 

Because of our unique access to the Conestoga River, I have the ability to go out almost every day, and I approach it how I want. It can be a paddle fest or a chill or a mix. I can listen to music or not. I can do the bird thing or just look about. I can fill the boat with junk I or take it a bit easy on the trash pick-up. 

Whatever. 

The fact that I follow my bliss every time I go out is just another factor that helps make every paddle on the river a unique experience. The weather and conditions, of course, also help on this front. 

I mean… rain, ice, snow, sleet, wind, heat, low water, high water - it doesn’t matter -  it’s always awesome out there. So fortunate. I just love it. 

And more people need to come out and check it out.  Man, what is happening? Call me up. Send me an email. Come on out on the water. Let’s do it. Wanna borrow a boat, I got a boat. Borrow a boat. “Hey, man, can I borrow a boat?” “Yeah, get out there.” Even if you are anchoring right where you put in, it's the best.

I just feel really strongly that there are a ton of folks out there would enjoy a bit of river time. 

This isn’t a matter of forcing my will on someone else. If you don’t want to go, you don't wanna go.  Fine, ok. Don’t do it. No problem, but try it out. Even if you come out and chill by the water and have a drink, man, you win. It’s a win. I don’t drink, but it sounds pretty good to me.

Come on out!

Perelman Park - 71: March 8, 2025

What follows is a random discussion of a Saturday, March 8 float from Perelman Park in Manheim Township to our house, a 4.1 mile, 2-hour paddle.

I love when I see people on the river doing what they do. I’ve seen muskrat trappers, fisherpeople, people hanging out smoking hookahs in their picnic-best - all sorts. Sure, if you are trapping muskrats or fishing, the river is pretty key, but for the rest of it - the running, the sitting, the hookah smoking, it’s the river that puts one’s experience over the top. I’m sure that was the case for the gentlemen on 3/8 who chose the Conestoga River at which to pray. Why wouldn’t a beautiful spot add that little extra to one’s appeals to the divine? 

I’ve done this float a handful of times and aside from the Lancaster Country Club, it's a pretty nice stretch. Even the spillover/waterworks off of 23 are kind of cool. I don’t especially like having to take out and portage, but whatever. 

There is a collection of houses along the way and these, for the most part, are pretty wild: big, great views, nice set-ups. One even has a pontoon boat, though it does seem like something from the Heart of Darkness. 

One massive house is in the process of going up and I’m sure their views of the river will be fabulous after the dozens of trees they have cut down. I guess they were just following the example set by the country club which cut down dozens of their own last spring or sometime. 

The country club section could actually be pretty cool. Throw some willows down on the bank and let 'em go. The whole thing can’t be a barren wasteland, can it? 

Although there are some houses (and the golf course), the vast majority of this stretch is undeveloped and Conestoga-wild. You know, not like Western Montana-wild, Conestoga-wild. One of the nicest spots is down from the Water Works until the bend where N Conestoga Drive meets the river. The river is a bit wider in some of this stretch and with the shallower water, the uneven, rocky bed creates a bit of turbulence and makes the surface shimmer. Super nice in the early afternoon as the sunlight sparks around.

Other bits I could write about but will just list out here: lake-like conditions under a couple of roads (30 and 23), one rocky drop off but totally doable, most graffitied stretch (don’t mind it), usual mix of shallow spots and rocky bits where the elevation dips, the usual awesomeness as far as the birds go, no people (come on, people!), so much lawn, property with tons of kayaks that looks like a cool place to hang out.

Property with tons of kayaks that looks like a cool place to hang out? Look me up. Let’s get out there!

Conestoga Wild